The MB problem. The next level.

Hi there again!!

In my previous blog, I wrote about THAT major problem I suffered. As you may already know that the previous blog was infact my life story in a nutshell. Now I'm moving into details and really how to overcome this problem. Let me first outline my first experiances from when it started and my various experiances in it.

! The first attack!

As I was sleeping in my bed at the tender age of around 5 - YES THATS RIGHT 5!!- I began staring into the darkness of my eyelids. Then all of a sudden a very beautiful young lady wearing near nothing appeared before me rubbing her belly softly. Erection was followed and eventually I was in it in my sleep. This problem has been with me since I was a child. How such a thing can happen to a child of that age I still dont know and am as dumbfounded as you are but this is it, the reality.

When I saw anyones stomach it just started happening! I really dont know why. When my grand mother would rub my mom's belly I would shout and cry! Also if I saw it on the TV I would also begin. It was a crazy experiance, very sad actually. It was as if I was possed with an evil spirit, I didn't have control over myself even at that age!

As I grew older the problem progressed too. Sometimes I remember at the age 10, when I was in Australia I would even look into magazines etc for pictures that stimulated it. I was in no control over myself, its true because I would even do in the bathtub. My parents would keep knocking. It was a crazy experiance from which I derived a strange pleasure. It was like the women I saw in the magazines came alive in my imagination and began doing crazy things before my eyes. It was slowly taking over me. Every night when I slept this problem would come. I saw dreams where I was torturing young women with tools ranging from Tasers to red hot metal rods. I saw them screaming and I derived a strange pleasure from it! Erection became common and actually so did excretement. It was crazy I became a slave to it and I had to feed it with porn magazines and dirty websites etc...

!!! THE REALISATION!!!

I was 12 when I first went to a church after around spending 3 months going there I eventually abandoned my previous religion of Hinduism and embraced Christianity. Around this time my parents were in some kind of problem and were praying to our new Saviour with tears. At this time I saw Jesus face to face, He came to deliver us of our problem and spoke through me to my parents. At this time I was around 12 and really never realised that the problem which I was suffering and being a slave to was a serious sin in Christianity ( Temple prostitution and illicit sex was a part of religion in Hinduism). So with no one to tell me, I continued and became more enslaved to it.

By that time I had recived the Holy Spirit and was baptised and acutally all of a sudden I began to get a guilty feeling which I never got before!! The Holy Spirit for the first time was actually convicting me for this sin!

I continued to feel guilty and acutally I felt strange but I continued it and fought the guilt for pleasure and thus becoming more enslaved to it. By the time I was 15 and in Egypt I was a living sin and a spiritual deadbody!